FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
