Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
