How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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