Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
