you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
