This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So much Jack, so little girl.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
