you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
