I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
