Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
