who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
