Your dad touched me again.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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