ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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