Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
