just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
