I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
my liver is dry heaving
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
