Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
