she was so not down for the gang bang
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
