You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
