I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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