P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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