Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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