do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I got inside last night via doggy door
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
