I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
