I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Randomize