The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
be right there i have to get my cape
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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