Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Nicole vs. Life
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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