what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
