I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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