i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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