As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
