Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
