Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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