You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
