Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We need to get me chipped asap
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
