they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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