no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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