Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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