Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
