Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
