I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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