he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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