So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
