Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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