once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize