I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
