why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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