Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
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I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
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My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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