that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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