Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
