Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
