I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
