That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
