picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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