My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
