I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
