addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize