I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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