please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
