I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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