So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
